Another self-portrait • "Once I tried to hold fire (...)"

Another self-portrait • "Once I tried to hold fire with my hands"

I wish I could change the world. Everyday I think about the things I would change in my past. Things that for sure, if I knew them today, I would never hurt my fingers trying to create a sculpture of something perfect with fire. The things we truly love or we truly loved are like the beautiful little flame with such power in our oil lamp guiding us in this mad world full of dangerous paths. We feel safe, we feel like we’ll never lose ourselves again. Then you drop your lamp or you forget to put the oil in it to keep the flame going… And you burn everything around you. You burn your fingers by stupidly trying to pick up the broken lamp already on the ground and even trying to fix your broken oil lamp. You scream and cry, all by yourself in a forest far away from home, and you ask God “Why this? When everything seem perfect?”. I had to learn that nothing is guaranteed. So, I closed myself in an empty green house, with no light or water. I thought by talking to the flowers and give them the love I wanted to feel, they would bloom. Then I noticed, not only they were dead, but I created a state of fear in my mind. So, I looked at the window, hopeless. And then I ask God once again "What do I have to do?". He told me to escape my own prison, take two deep breaths and fight for the things I truly want, even if they seem impossible. Instead of an oil lamp, I'm holding tight in my right hand a perfect compass, fearless. And the future seem not too far away.