"I thought a room full of friends would make me happy"

I thought a room full of friends would make me happy. I thought being paid with lots of money would give the value to my art. I thought I would never care about a father that I never had. I thought truly loving someone was something easy. I thought life would be easy, even if things didn't work out that well in lots of stuff in my life while I was a child and a teenager. People said to me a lot of times and still: "You're too young to think about that" — and all I can answer is "I wish my mind didn't feel all this at my 20s".
Growing is not a bad thing, even if I feel a lot like Peter Pan everyday. And accepting that we can't change the past, but we have all the future in our hands... it's amazing. We can be the best humans ever. We can live forever. We only have to accept our paths. The more I look around the more I see we're truly wasting the good things in life. We feel so much... And we feel the right and the wrong things. Feeling is beautiful. I feel just looking at some human's eyes. I feel through my camera lens. I feel myself even more everyday. We are wasting ourselves with fake smiles and fake moments knowing that our egos are feed up, but in the end of the day, all our soul is empty. Living and feeling, such pure moments... Just silence and the sea sounds with friends. Or a kiss or a hug and the wind... no words. We should listen ourselves sometimes. Even if it feels dumb.